Does the neighbor have a problem with soundproofing?

[Dan_Johansson]

I have a neighbor who is both a lawn fanatic, which means dethatching, verticutting, and mowing with gasoline-powered machines at least 3 times a week, and also has a son who belongs to the category of motorized youth (or more specifically, Volvo enthusiasts, those who know, know) and of course has a really loud stereo in the car. He listens to dance band music quite often, but not whole songs, just full volume for 10 seconds then he turns it down...

After seven years (it started with a modified tractor), I've stopped clenching my fist in my pocket and silently swearing to myself. However, my children have never woken up once because of this.

 

[SNf]

We have neighbors who live in a newly built house located about 15 meters from our property line. They moved in last fall and now comes the first warm period when you're out a lot in the yard...

Already during the first really warm weekend (Easter), the father of the family came over and said that our children were disturbing their daughter's sleep. Our children were outside in the yard playing with their cousins since it was a family gathering and it was around 9 PM when they came over. We had the door open and of course overview of our children and thought they were keeping a reasonable noise level.

We are very surprised that they were disturbed because their daughter's room doesn't have windows facing our direction (only an outer wall). If we had closed the patio door ourselves, we would barely have heard the children out there.

The whole situation has created a concern that their house (which is built by an Eastern European company on spec) simply isn't sufficiently insulated. Too bad for the neighbors in that case but also a concern for us because we don't want to have to tiptoe around on our own yard.

When we built our house some time ago, I remember there were requirements for what noise levels the house should be able to block. These are more specified in different sound classes. Is there any more "easy-to-understand" material with everyday examples that can help us understand where the problem lies... i.e. is it maybe we who are too loud after all. Or are they too sensitive or simply is the house not up to standard?

Why do you think it's more okay to make noise outdoors than indoors?

 

[garden_gnome]

Now you're getting ahead of yourself, I think, when you base it on ONE event! Continue living as you usually do and wait to see if anything else happens, and if so, then have a talk with the neighbor.

I know, it's the fear that it will happen again, and I want to be more prepared and able to give a more thoughtful response without reacting emotionally.

We were also very surprised since it was Easter Saturday, and we had a family gathering (he certainly didn't miss that as he saw all the guests sitting inside with us). In those situations, I, at least as a neighbor, tend to grin and bear it if it bothers me, because parties aren't held every weekend, and we were also keeping an eye on the children's noise level. Somewhere, my gut feeling tells me that we have a very different view of what we consider disturbing.

 

[Ramnemark]

I can understand the neighbor's frustration when the children don't want to sleep. Whether it actually depends on the noise from your children is uncertain. I have been in the same situation on a few occasions. On the other hand, I renovate on weekends between 10-20 quite regularly, so I don't complain about any neighbor, but I accept that I have neighbors

 

[garden_gnome]

Why do you think it's more okay to make noise outdoors than indoors.

Now, I don't think we were making noise in a way that should be disturbing, we were keeping an eye on the children. That's why I wonder how much more they can hear inside their place compared to what we couldn't hear inside ours, even though the children were playing closer to where we were sitting (with the patio door partially open).

 

[Sir Duke]

It might be something else that's bothering them. That the neighbor has no family, no friends, no party, no free time, bitter because their house was too expensive or poorly built, you have the best evening sun, happier children, greener lawn, you happened to laugh and have fun at the party.......
Pretty antisocial to intrude when they see there's a party (Easter party once a year) and bring up rules, major Ove-warning there.

If it happens again: Try to stay calm. Be polite and very brief. Don't stand there and promise not to play anymore blah blah blah. And don't scold back. Just say something like: "What a shame. We don't want to disturb anyone. But we live here, so it's going to be noticeable." Stand and smile but say nothing more.

 

[garden_gnome]

I ask my children to avoid "unnecessary" screaming when they are outside. It easily happens that they get too excited when they have fun and, without thinking about it, scream instead of talking even though they are standing 1 meter apart. It doesn't matter if it's day or evening, one should show consideration. But they are of course allowed to play, run, and romp! It's good if you can distinguish between day and evening. Avoid the loudest games after 8 PM maybe? But definitely don't tiptoe!

That's true, especially the trampoline can ramp up the noise level. Of course, we kept an eye on this so it didn't escalate, we never think it sounds pleasant when they scream the way you describe. After 8 PM, for example, basketball was prohibited because we know that the bouncing can be annoying. But we have school children who will still want to be outside on the yard even after 8 PM on days when there's no school the next day. Especially holidays like this one when there was a family party.

 

[garden_gnome]

It could be something else that bothers them. That the neighbor has no family, no friends, no parties, no hobbies, grumpy because their house was too expensive or poorly built, you have the best evening sun, happier children, greener lawn, you happened to laugh and have fun at the party...
Quite antisocial to stomp over when you see there's a party (Easter party once a year) and bring up rules, a major Ove warning there.

If it happens again: Try to remain calm. Be polite and very brief. Don't stand and promise that you won't play anymore, blah blah blah. And don’t scold back. Just say something like: "That's unfortunate. We don't want to disturb anyone. But we live here, so it'll be noticeable." Stay and smile but say nothing else.

This time they didn't recite rules but simply asked for it to be quieter as their daughter had difficulty sleeping. But of course, the family who was there reacted to the neighbor coming over with opinions, definitely a bit of a downer. This time we complied and sent the children inside, but as you wrote, it's probably not something you want to promise for the future, it will just open up for problems.

The absolute best for them would be that they don't get as much noise from the surroundings if they are sensitive to such things. Otherwise, other things like the garbage truck and freight trains thundering by occasionally will become another nuisance for them.

 

[fredrik.johansson]

Sounds like the neighbor just had their first child? It's not uncommon for EVERYTHING in their life to revolve around the little bundle and whether it eats or sleeps during the first year. Since they've structured their lives around the child, they think everyone else must do the same.
When their own child starts running around and making noise themselves, most realize that they are "disturbing" just as much themselves, and the complaining stops.

 

[Sackaros]

I think it's important not to give in from the start. The type of behavior the neighbor is displaying is rather boundary-less and the risk is high that it will escalate. Next time, maybe the color of your house facade will dazzle them and you'll have to repaint or whatever. I would politely but firmly explain that they have to put up with it or soundproof their house if simply closing the windows isn't enough. Maybe, if you're feeling a little bit mean, you could direct them towards the person they bought the house from instead...

 

[garden_gnome]

It might be something else bothering him. That the neighbor has no family, no friends, no party, no hobbies, upset because his house was too expensive or poorly built, you have the best evening sun, happier children, greener lawn, you happened to laugh and have fun at the party.......
Quite antisocial to stomp over when you see there's a party (Easter party once a year) and bring up rules, strong Ove-warning there.

If it happens again: Try to keep your composure. Be polite and very concise. Don't stand there promising that you won't play anymore blah blah blah. And don't scold back. Just say something like: "That's unfortunate. We don't want to disturb anyone. But we live here, so it's going to be noticeable at times." Stand firm and smile but say nothing more.

Regarding Ove, we have one like that as a neighbor too, right next door. Everyone in the area knows who he is. However, after several years as neighbors, he has never said anything about the children's noise level. The only comment about the kids has been that they greet quietly or avoid doing so (he doesn't understand that they find him a bit scary)

 

[garden_gnome]

Sounds like the neighbor just had their first child?
It's not uncommon that EVERYTHING in their life revolves around the little bundle and whether it's eating or sleeping during the first year. Since they've structured their life around the child, they think everyone else must do the same.
When their own child starts running around and yelling themselves, most realize that they “disturb” just as much, and the complaints cease.

Actually not the first child, a bit strange in that sense. But it is the first house and you do get down to the ground and closer to the outdoor environment when you live in that type of area compared to an apartment. Perhaps when summer comes and they want to sit outside with the children playing nearby, they'll understand the charm of the house "noises" despite it

 

[GlennB]

Every time I read stuff like this, I'm glad to have a large property and sensible neighbors... it was partly to avoid this sort of thing that I moved from the apartment!

Regardless, you have a problem, I think a neighbor who starts like this will continue to make demands about everything.

 

[Sir Duke]

Every time I read things like this, I'm glad to have a large property and reasonable neighbors.. it was partly to avoid stuff like this that we moved from the apartment!

Exactly. But for some people, a detached house and a thousand square meters of their own property are not enough. They still go and get annoyed by the neighbors. And don't understand that they live in a residential neighborhood in a populated area. These individuals really need to move out into the woods.

 

[harry73]

Why not just assume it was a particularly difficult evening for the neighbor + child. The child might have been sick.
The first time you can easily give in a little extra and trust that it was special circumstances that evening.
If it becomes a habit for the neighbor to come and complain, you can say that last time you took the children inside because you assumed there were special reasons, but that you also want to live your life.
And that in the future you are happy to be a bit more considerate when it's needed the most, but not always.